Got Me Good

Tonight I finally caught up on downloading dance tunes that make great running songs. I hear songs in my hip-hop class, then download them and create an energizing running mix. I hate running so the only way that I am motivated to run is to listen to high energy and often cheesy dance music. The most recent routine had some fun songs.  I wanted to get online and get caught up on music when I got home after dance class. Conveniently I had some leftovers from the meal I made on Tuesday, which I never posted. I was out to dinner last night with a former boss and tomorrow am meeting up with friends. So not much cooking being done, but it was nice to have something already made tonight. Looking back on the month, I've cooked almost every weeknight.  I'm definitely cooking more than eating out or getting take out.  I'm enjoying it too.  I'll definitely need more of these crazy dance mixes to keep me going on the late nights.

Some Days You Need to Enjoy the Fries

I have an aversion to Weight Watchers. My mom took me to a meeting when I was 12 or 13 years old which led to two decades of battles with my body and food. In the end, Weight Watchers never worked for me. Attending all those meetings and counting "points" never helped, not then and not years later as an adult. However, I must admit that they do have some tasty recipes. In an effort to focus some of my cooking energy on lower-calorie and lower-fat dishes, I picked out one or two for this week from an old Weight Watchers cookbook. Tonight I made a nice chicken dish with vegetables. Yesterday was emotional, attending the memorial service and spending time with the boyfriend. So I allowed myself some crappy food for dinner last night, which I have no issue with, but it was nice to eat something healthy and on the lighter side tonight.

When There's No One Else To Talk To

This past week turned out to be rougher than I anticipated.  I mostly took care of myself, went to the gym and cooked. Friday I had my mid-year review at work. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great. At least it was delivered over a nice sushi lunch at Blue Fin. Friday evening, I was happy to have made plans for drinks with a friend. She's a writer and editor, super funky and the kind of person who reminds me that there's more to life than my job. Today was mellow. I cooked a nice dinner, scallops and the rest of the asparagus. I listened to a lot of music.

It Was Just There

I had planned to do some yoga tonight, but was distracted by new episodes of some of my favorite TV shows.  At least I cooked myself a meal and ate at the table before plonking myself down in front of the TV. This is a big step for me.  It's also only 10 pm as I sit down to draft this post about my cooking trials and tribulations.  It's possible that I will be in bed before midnight. Maybe that's why people eat dinner before 8pm?

Too Tired To Type

I am so tired today.  Not sure if its the emotion of the weekend and then the full force of work, which continues to overwhelm me.  I did make it to dance class tonight and looked forward to getting home to cook. I had planned some menus for the week. Tonight I decided to do a pork chop and some asparagus.  All went well, except that I keep burning myself on pots and pans.  I have a huge burn on my arm from a frtittata on Sunday. Tonight I it was fingers on a hot meat thermometer. Duh.  What was I thinking. I hope eventually I will improve and not hurt myself while trying to cook.

The Leftovers of Letting Go

This weekend was a much needed and well-planned 'girls weekend' with four of my closest friends. Although two of the group have know each other since they were about three years old and grew up together, the four of us have only gotten to know each other over the past ten years. At one point we all lived in NYC, but now only two of us are here. We've been through many ups and downs, most recently the celebration of one friend's wedding.  This weekend seemed to have more downs. I had my own. More seriously there is one friend with a very ill father and another with a father who is resisting the required changes to adapt his living situation. With all of these things, it was much needed time together. Saturday night I cooked coq au vin, an intensive dish that you prepare the night before. We had a lovely evening. Conversations continued through Sunday brunch to the point where we never headed out for shopping as we had planned. Life required some letting go and just being in the moment, even though the moments were difficult.

Inspiration

I feel lucky to have so many wonderful friends. In the middle of a crisis with the man I love, who may or may not want to be with me,  amazing women came to see me and stayed for dinner. Tonight it was a friend who is a a few years older and has always been an inspiration to me, mainly from the career side but also from the 'get a life' side.  She's the CEO of a $200M business, a wife, a mom, and a hip well-dressed interesting woman.  We had a perfect evening catching up, drinking wine and eating the mediocre steak that I cooked. During our conversations, I appreciated her candidness and honestly. Her challenging questions and her willingness to listen were welcome. We spent some time discussing the 'what's next' question, which I have realized looms above you wherever you are in life. Even when you reach the point where you can honestly admit that you have everything you want in your life, that's when you start wondering what's next?  Tonight what's next was just some steak and  mushroom ragout then some Magnolia cupcakes with really good wine. Sometimes a good pinot noir and cupcakes with a close friend are all you need.

Hope in a Jar and at the Door

When something painful or difficult happens, life starts to feel like a see-saw.  You go about your work day, hit the gym, have a drink with a work colleague and you feel fine. Suddenly, you fall apart and can't seem to talk. Today I mainly kept myself together and functioned. It would not have been possible except for one of my best friends who offered to come over for dinner.  We hadn't seen each other in a while. She too has been through some tough stuff recently. It was wonderful to catch up and comforting to be reminded that friends are close by.  She knew that I was upset about this break with the boyfriend. So she picked up a tiny sample of Hope in a jar from Sephora. Hope is what I need right now. She also brought tulips.  It was perfect. Our friends know how to take care of us. At least I could cook her dinner.

The Words Are Escaping Me

Last night after several long conversations, it seems that the boyfriend and I are taking a break. Not my choice, but I get it and why he needs this. Yet, it's painful and will be difficult for me.  Instead of curling up in a little ball and shedding enough salty discharge to fill a bucket, I resolved to at the very least to take care of myself. I managed to get to both total body conditioning and dance class. I came home and made some curried scallops with spinach and shiitake mushrooms, as I had planned earlier in the week.  Maybe it's because even though I'm sad, I also have hope. Others have survived difficult strains on relationships. Taking some time apart can ultimately help you find a way to be closer. If that is the case, the process kinda sucks.

What a Difference a Day (or two) Makes

The past few days flew by and I had no time to draft a blog post, but I did manage to cook. It seems that getting through a week both cooking and blogging will be a major challenge. One day, I thought I was going to have plenty of time to get caught up. The next day, a work meeting went over and things turned to chaos. My weekend started on Thursday when a few people come over after dance class. Usually we hit a bar or restaurant, but I had invited everyone over in hope of eating some better food. I didn't check my Facebook messages so it wasn't until I got to the gym on Thursday that I realized everyone was coming over. I made Moosewood’s "Tunisian Vegetable Stew," which I had in the back of my head as an option whether I had visitors or not. In the end, I probably drank one too many drinks, but it was a great night.

Perfect Popcorn

I could barely get out of bed this morning.  Sometimes the stress is crushing.  I was so tired that I decided to sleep in a but and just work from home. My employer, a large financial services firm, generally prefers that I work from home. Leadership has made the decision to have less offices and set us up so we can work virtually whenever and wherever. Some may see this as a great flexibility, others can see that this means that work never really ends. It's a mixed blessing. I can easily start my day with a conference call at 7:30 AM and finish it sending emails at 10:00 PM. Today I never left my apartment, which concerns me. I took a few breaks throughout the day, but I'm pretty sure that working home is not the best situation for me. I feel more focused when I'm at the office even with the bad lighting and open cubes. Even when I eat healthy, I tend to eat more at home. Today, I needed popcorn.

French Fish

It's now Day 2 in the real world. Today was nuts at work and I still have more that I should be doing this evening. I'm having difficulty sleeping as I can't stop thinking about all the work I have to do, particularly the things that are either not fun or not going well. However, I did manage to leave a bit early and make both the total body conditioning class and hip hop.  Dance class always makes me feel better. I'm also always on my way home by 8:00 pm so the grocery store is still open.  I picked up a nice piece of mahi mahi.  It's a heavier fish, almost like a piece of meat and doesn't have much of a fishy flavor.

Total Fail

I wondered what would happen when I went back to work and tried to cook. Mondays are always rough, but cooking-wise today was a total fail. I had planned to pick up a nice piece of fish on my way home from the gym, but I was late and the grocery store was closed. I wouldn't trust the fish at the other two grocery stores that were still open in my neighborhood. So I headed home, thinking that I was back to take-out or carrots and hummus for tonight.  Luckily, I had made two of yesterday's kale-topped pizzas. I ran home and heated the second one up.  The total fail came in when I managed to over-cook the pizza.  It wasn't burnt to a black crisp, but the cheese and the crust were decidedly brown.  It didn't taste too bad though, still chewy and yummy.

Sunday Night Disease

When I was in college at the University of Vermont, my friends and I often came down with something we called Sunday Night Disease. Sometime after dinner and a few attempts to get work done in our tiny dorm rooms, we would all end up in the hallway chatting and procrastinating for hours. Often this involved listening and discussing music, which only one of us was actually majoring in. As I've gotten older, Sunday Night Disease has mutated, but it still involves some procrastination, dread for the week ahead and music listening. Tonight I'm writing this blog post instead of spending time on work stuff that I really need to do in preparation for next week, which I anticipate will be very stressful. However, writing is a big step from just sitting in front of the TV (or for me its a 24" Mac). Writing about what I just cooked is an even bigger step. It means that I fed myself a decent meal. Tonight it was a little garlic and greens (mainly kale) pizza with a salad.

The Last Weekend

Yesterday I packed in too much for a vacation day. I had to do a work call first thing in the morning on Thursday and Friday, which bums me out a bit. I did manage to hit the gym and worked out with my trainer, who was easy on me since I was still hurting from Thursday's total body class. Once I got home from the gym, I decided that I was going to prepare a lasagne to take to Philly for dinner with my boyfriend. (I need a better word for him and our relationship. Boyfriend sounds like we're teenagers.) I had planned to post last night, but was too tired so am just getting to this today. I've never made the Barefoot Contessa's lasagna with turkey sausage. Having eaten it at my mom's and knowing it has become my brother's signature dish, I thought it was time that I gave it a try. Let me just start with the fact that the recipe calls for ONE POUND of mozzarella. Probably not something that I would eat everyday but it couldn't be bad.

Thursdays

Thursdays are one of my favorite days.  Being the day before Friday is helpful, but really I like Thursdays because of hip hop class. Every Thursday my favorite dance teacher has a class in Brooklyn. I leave work early to start with her total body conditioning class and lift a few weights, but really I'm there for the class afterwards. I've been taking classes with this instructor for more than five years. She choreographs great routines and chooses fun music. I pretend that I'm Janet or J. Lo for 45 minutes and dance until I can barely breathe.  There's no better exercise. In addition, I've gotten to know several of the other women in class over the years and have made some wonderful friends.

Day Two

This morning brought some sort of gummy bear hangover and I felt like crap.  Luckily, I didn't have to work. I'm taking this week off. I had a slew of things planned but only got to a few. An unexciting trip to Costco and then a stop at the AT&T store to pick up a new mobile phone. I found a shoe store in my neighborhood and bought a great pair of much needed black boots. I spent some time this morning thinking about what some folks call 'primary foods'.  They are those things that make up our lives outside of the actual food we eat. For those of us living in places of abundance, where we don't have to wonder where our next meal will come from, we can think about all the other things that we need to nourish ourselves. These 'primary foods' can be fulfilling relationships, creative endeavors, work that stimulates us, etc.  I also thought a lot about what my vision was with regards to cooking, physical activity and my overall health.  Then, I spent my evening reading a cookbook written for single women called The Little Black Apron.  Suddenly, its midnight.

As Good A Time As Any

It's the first of January which is as good a day as any to start something new. SWIK (Strongest Women I Know) is my brand representing all kinds of strength not just physical but emotional, financial, creative all those things that make women powerful and cool. I like to think of SWIK as an adjective for something that is strong but also hip and creative. In this blog, I want to explore a healthier lifestyle, particularly with regards to my eating so I can be the SWIKest I can be, reaching my full potential or something like that.