Spicy Steak Success and Sadness

I have wanted to try another beef dish since my merely adequate attempt a few weeks ago, which I served to my good friend from England. She did say that if she was in a restaurant that she "wouldn't send it back," but it wasn't one of my better meals. Tonight I did a chili-rubbed skirt steak, although the meat was actually flank steak because that's what was available. It was delicious. It felt like a real treat. Steak seems so extravagant, maybe because for the day to day I prefer lower fat and leaner chicken or fish and focus on vegetables for most meals. I made some green beans with caramelized shallots, then finished with some strawberries. I had to scoop some Nutella on the strawberries since I was out of whipped cream. As I sat alone enjoying my meal, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to have someone to share a meal with every night. I've found the man who I would like to see everyday, we just can't figure out how or when we'll get there. 



I realize that all this cooking, while it's much healthier than my previous eating habits, is still me taking care of my emotional self with food. I can see that this is positive in some ways, preparing a meal for myself is healthier than eating take-out. It's creative. I enjoy the focus required to get the meal cooked. I can't really think of anything else while I'm attempting to prepare a meal. It's not until I sit down at the table, alone, that I'm reminded that I'm looking for something more. I do want someone to share a meal with every night. There is joy in s haring food with people you care about which I've seen as various friends have visited over the past few weeks. Eating alone, at a table, without the TV, gives me time alone with my thoughts. The food then becomes the comfort it was for me when I was young and filling much larger holes in my life.

My music for tonight was The Church, a quirky Australian band from the 1980s that reminds me of college when I really began to get into music. Their song "Under the Milky Way Tonight" has a slow guitar intro with lead singer Steve Kilby's crooning baritone vocals. The beat picks up pace, although it never gets too fast, then swirly electric guitars take over. There's even a keyboard interlude that sounds like bagpipes. Yet the song remains soothing in its simplicity. While the lyrics tell more of a story, for me it's just about looking up at the night sky and wondering about what you really want from life or what the person you love may want from life or from you.

Sometimes when this place gets kind of empty
Sound of their breath fades with the light
I think about the loveless fascination
Under the Milky Way tonight

Lower the curtain down on Memphis
Lower the curtain down all right
I got no time for private consultation
Under the Milky Way tonight

Wish I knew what you were looking for
Might have known what you would find
Wish I knew what you were looking for
Might have known what you would find

And it's something quite peculiar
Something shimmering and white
Leads you here despite your destination
Under the Milky Way tonight

Chili-Rubbed Skirt Steak from Everyday Food:Great Food Fast (page 294)

Serves 4 (I just halved everything and only had 1 piece left over)

Total time 30 minutes

2 tsp chili powder

1 tsp ground corriander 

1 tsp light brown sugar

1/2 tsp dried oregano

Coarse salt and ground pepper

11/4 to 1/1/2 lbs beef skirt steak (cut into 4 pieces)

1/1/2 tsp olive oil

Heat broiler with rack 4 inches from heat

In small bowl combine chili powder, corriander, sugar, oregano salt and pepper

Coat steaks evenly on both sides with olive oil then spice mix patting to help it adhere

Place steaks on rimmed backing sheet or broiler pan

Broil without turning for 5 to 8 minutes (for medium rare) pending thickness

Cover with aluminum foil and let rest for 10 minutes

Serve and drizzle wit remaining juices

Green Beans with Caramelized Shallots from Everyday Food:Great Food Fast (page 329)

Serves 4 (I just halved everything again and ended up eating all 2 servings at dinner)

Total time 20 minutes

3 Tbsp butter

6 shallots, peeled and thinly sliced into rings

Coarse salt and ground pepper

1 lb green beans trimmed

In medium sauce pan with lid, melt 2 Tbsp of butter over nedium heat

Add shallots and cover

Reduce heat to medium-low

Cook, stirring ocassionally, about 15 to 20 minutes until golden brown

Meanwhile boil or steam green beans 

Drain return to pot

Toss with remaining Tbs of butter, salt and pepper

Transfer green beans to bowl or mix with shallots then serve